Bowsette's Princesses
by Weapon X Foxfurry
Summary: this fic is about me and a friend or two getting turned into Mario Princesses and working for Bowsette as spies. What you see is what you get.


"_For Toadette, getting the crown powerup was the most important moment of her entire life… For Bowsette… It was Thursday." -Weapon X Foxfurry_

**Bowsette's Princesses**

**This fanfic has been given a mature rating for a multitude of reasons. Mostly for language, but also for adult references and jokes, Memes, Filthy Frank references, use of firearms, references to Super Mario Logan Movie videos, Epic Anime references, references to the Sonichu cartoon by Spazkid, Brown Bricks, Doki Doki Literature Club references, and prolly a buncha other stuff I'll name later.**

**I literally don't own any of the canon characters, nor do I own the fan character 'concept' Bowsette.**

**They all belong to their respective owners.**

**One thing to be aware of is that this fic is ****NOT**** to be taken seriously.**

**Since it is about Bowsette, it is basically a meme shitpost in the form of a full-length fanfic (Maybe not even that, depending on how long this meme goes for/how long it takes for me to get bored with writing this).**

**Basically, just take everything here with a grain of salt and don't take it so seriously.**

**I mean, this fic is based on a freakin' meme for Crissakes.**

**Anyways, I've rambled for too long.**

**Enjoy the fic.**

**Chapter one:**

**Getting the Crown**

_Arlington, Virginia_

_On a Friday in the beginning of October_

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Friday is always bittersweet for me, although honestly since I graduated high school, it doesn't mean as much as it used to, and since moving out of my parent's house, it has even less meaning, since my parents pay all my rent and utilities for my apartment, I barely have to do anything in a day.

However, this doesn't mean that I don't still get out once in a while.

I always go to the local GameStop on Fridays to see what's out or on sale or if I can get myself a game card of some kind.

After a particularly less than spectacular browsing sesh at the local GameStop, I came back to my apartment, set my keys down on the counter, plopped down on the couch, then switched on my TV and PS4, booting up Far Cry 5 while opening up Fanfiction on my laptop and opening a can of rose apple cider and taking a short sip of it before getting in-game.

"Alright, John Seed…" I muttered aloud, gripping my controller, "I'm comin' for ya… Right after I do a few side missions…"

In truth, I was nowhere near the point in the game where you actually confront and fight John Seed in the game.

I had only just gotten to Tier 2 on my Resistance level for Holland Valley.

For clarity, I'd only beaten this game twice so far.

The first time was my blind playthrough when I first got the game.

The second, I decided to do more side missions and go for as many of the collectibles as possible.

And this playthrough was only to try and unlock New Game+ because of the recent update.

With all that experience with the game under my belt, I pretty much knew what to do and what to expect, as I had so far gotten both main endings to the game.

Right as I was in the middle of a particularly tense mission, the doorbell to my apartment room rang.

Knowing it was either door to door survey-takers or Mormons (with absolutely no disrespect to the Mormons, it's just that in my experience, whenever you're not expecting company and someone knocks at the door, it's either survey-takers, people asking you if you want to register to vote, or Mormons. It's always those three.), or possibly my landlord wanting to know if I could give him another game suggestion for his nephew, I shrugged, pausing my game and answering the door.

Surprisingly, no one was at the door when I answered it.

Looking down at the doormat, however, I saw a box-shaped package there, with an orange envelope attached to it.

I looked left and right of the walkway outside my apartment, then called out, almost to no one, "… Yo, do I gotta sign for this?"

When I got no answer, I picked up the box and brought it inside, setting it down on the couch next to my spot, looking over the envelope attached to the box.

There was no return address on the box or the envelope, which raised a lot of questions, but when I saw what was written on the back of the envelope, it raised even more questions.

It frankly read 'Open me first'.

Knowing full well that I was too unknown to be sent anthrax or razorblades, I opened the envelope with reckless abandon.

Inside was a handwritten note in neat, pristine, inked handwriting, almost like it had been written just for me.

It read as follows:

"_For a very Special man…_

_Hey, sweetie_

_I noticed you were feeling inadequate, so I decided to send you a little gift to cheer you up._

_Inside is a very special present that will figuratively and literally change your entire life._

_I hope you like it, because I know I will~_

_See you very soon,_

_~B"_

"… I can't help but feel disgusting that I read that in Jessie's voice from HuniePop…" I murmured, before setting the note down, then setting the present to the side for now, going right back to my game.

I eventually got bored of doing the exact same thing I'd done in Far Cry 5 before, and decided instead to quit out of the game and actually open the package.

Pulling off the brown wrapping paper first revealed that the 'package' was white box wrapped in blue ribbons with a pair of black beady eyes on the side of the box, similar to what you would expect from a Mario game.

I blinked, then went and retrieved my Boy Scout knife and cut the ribbons, then lifted the top of the box off.

Inside was none other than some kinda replica of the Crown Powerup that was featured in the Sept 13th 2018 Nintendo Direct.

The one that has recently caused quite a stir in the Gamer community.

The one that broke the internet quicker than Kim Kardashian ever could.

… Was it Kim Kardashian?

I don't fuckin' remember…

Anyways, it was the one that basically caused this one fan artist to say 'Hey, this is good, but you know who would benefit from this the most? Bowser.'.

Thus creating the Internet's newest Meme Queen; Bowsette.

I'd recently gotten into the Bowsette Meme, and I'd both expressed and paraded this meme on Social Media and on an RP forum on Fanfiction that I frequent.

I even joined the Bowsette Amino.

No joke.

I couldn't help but think that this was a practical joke perpetrated by one of my friends on Fanfiction, but then I realized I never once gave them my address or anything of that sort.

That, and given what it said on the note, I was basically confused as fuck as to who sent it and why.

I sighed.

I picked up the crown and looked it over in my hands.

It looked to be of very good quality.

Almost like it was straight off of a Hollywood set or something.

But weirdly, it also had this unnatural cartoonish shine like it was straight out of one of the video games.

It also felt absurdly light, even though it looked like it should be heavier than it was.

It was like it was designed for long-term cosplay and nothing else.

Now... I don't know if what I did was out of stupid curiosity or because I was so into the Bowsette meme that I felt obligated to do this, but regardless, I decided to actually try the crown on to see if it fit.

Every fiber of my mind was telling me 'no, this is a bad idea. Watch your movies' but my body was saying ', Naw, fuck it. Let's see what happens.'

I place the crown upon my head, half-expecting something to happen, like a transformation or powerup get jingle.

Well… nothing happened.

How disappointing.

I decided then to at least take a selfie of myself wearing the crown with my phone.

Upon picking up my phone, I started to feel very strange.

Not like that one scene with Spiderman in Avengers: Infinity War, but just in a sense that I felt odd or peculiar.

Then, a bright, sparkling blue light enveloped me and temporarily blinded my vision.

When my vision returned, I was no longer in my apartment, but rather in a grassy meadow pathway in what appeared to be the mushroom kingdom, as I could see Princess Peach's castle in the distance.

I also felt different, in fact, I felt incredibly different.

I somehow felt… 'less bulky' if that meant anything.

"… Did I lose some… Wait…" I murmured, realizing halfway through that sentence that my voice sounded awfully female.

I looked at my right hand, which looked very cartoonishly feminine, and had short, white, frilly lace glove covering it.

I then looked at my reflection in a nearby warp pipe, going wide-eyed in confusion.

My new form was definitely female, but had a cartoonish hourglass figure, similar to that of Betty Boop or Jessica Rabbit if they were Mario Princesses, suntanned skin that was colored a light ebony, with light amounts of makeup on around my eyes, giving me the distinct but equally retro Japanese Ganguro Girl look, was pretty much my same size at 6' 6'', had one green eye and one blue eye, with long, pretty eyelashes, long blonde hair that was wavy like a 1920's Jazz singer, a pretty ample bust, metallic blue lipstick that had a cartoonish shine to it, and a regal ensemble consisting of a long, frilly ballgown similar to that of Princess Peach, but in a cerulean blue color scheme, a pair of short, frilly white lace gloves, frilly white undergarments, a pair of sky blue high heels, and a white gold crown encrusted with amber gemstones.

"… Oh my goodness…" I said, more confused than anything else.

I simply stared at my new form a moment, looking around to see if anyone else was around, then felt around for any sort of phone on my person.

Strangely, I had managed to find a sky blue-colored smartphone… Somewhere, and pulled it out.

I guess that's what a hammerspace is, then.

I turned on the phone, looking at a few things on it, but saw nothing of relevance.

"Shoot…" I said with a sigh, "I guess I'm stuck here as a busty princess with exaggerated anatomical features and fat tits…"

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_this is the part of the fic where it switches to third-person POV…_

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Meanwhile, back in the real world, we'd find ourselves at the home of someone that was friends with Fox, living in the state of Indiana. He was currently home alone, and stood about six feet and weighed a rather skinny 125 pounds with short dark brown hair, fair skin, and green eyes. He had on a light blue t-shirt with 'Fender' on the front, black track pants, and similar colored slip-on sandals with black ankle socks.

"Think I oughta go check the mail..." He thought, getting out of his room and finding a package on his front porch. "Hello, what's this?" He checked the shipping address - the first thing he'd notice was it was addressed to him. "That's funny, I never get mail."

After checking the mailbox and getting the usual junk out of it, the young man brought the box to his bedroom. Opening it up, he'd find inside was a strange crown. "Huh..." He thought aloud. "...I got a bad feeling about this...but I wanna get a better look." Once he grabbed the strange crown, an odd feeling would come over him. Almost like a transformation.

When the young man woke up, he found himself transported from his home in the same grassy meadow.

"What...what the hell happened?" He asked, then looked down at his body to see what became of him.

The first noticeable difference was that he had become a she - His weight changed to 138 pounds, and shrunk down to five foot nine. His dark brown hair grew in length, reaching down to his shoulders in a wavy pattern. His facial hair and most of his body hair had vanished completely, leaving his face, limbs, and torso smooth as nylon. Overall his body turned more feminine in appearance, now donned in a long sundress with a yellow base color, a secondary lavender color, and black trim. Relatively simple in design with two leg slits for ease of movement; this was coupled with dark brown ankle boots and a pair of black and yellow short shorts underneath the dress for modesty. The crown was silver in color with rubies as the main gemstones. There was also a pair of black gloves that, while not obvious at first glance, had padding and support for the hands and wrists.

it was then that the blonde-haired ganguro princess noticed the brunette.

"... Holy shit, another one..." she mused, approaching the brunette.

The brunette's next words would be rather...shocked.

"Oh, god dammit!" The brunette exclaimed. "I should've known something was fishy with that crown!"

"Well, I'm not complaining, for one..." the blonde said to the brunette, looking down at her own breasts, "I mean, look at these bad boys!"

The brunette turned to face the blonde. "Oh, I'm glad one of us is enjoying this. Seriously, I should've known. The only things I get in the mail are GameInformer magazines, credit card offers, and the monthly bank statement," She responded. "Oh gods, what are my parents gonna think when they get home from work and find I'm not there?"

"Well, I moved out of my parents' house ages ago, so the most that'll happen for me is my landlord will wonder why I haven't talked to him in a while..." the blonde said, "I mean, now I just look like a big-tittied Ganguro girl."

"I could tell that." The brunette had fully gotten off the ground, feeling her gloves first. "Oh wow...these are padded to be just like MMA gloves - hell yes." She looked to the blonde. "Um...if you could give me some room, I wanna get used to this new form."

"You an' me both, sistah." the blonde said, "Seriously, I haven't worn heels this high since my last furry kigurumi crossplay at FurryCon last year."

Giving a nod, the brunette got in a Southpaw boxing stance, practicing throwing punches at the air to get accustomed to her body. She was mixing it up with 1-2's, power punches, and eventually threw in kicks once she was comfortable. This kind of fighting would seem to jog the blonde's memory of sorts. The brunette was rather comfortable fighting this way, kind of like someone she knew…

The blonde blinked at this, as if processing this.

"... Say, hon..." she said, "... Have we met before? Like... I dunno, just somewhere?"

"Well, I know friends on Fanfiction that are my second family," The brunette answered. "They call me Flash. Not based off the superhero, but on the Pokemon ability Flash Fire. I like Flareon, even though it sucks."

the blonde then went wide-eyed with realization.

"Flash? Holy shit!" she exclaimed, "I know you wouldn't recognize me, but it's me, Weapon X Foxfurry!"

"...Wait a fuckin...Fox!?" The brunette, Flash, exclaimed. "Ah, shit! This is so crazy, man!" Her mood seemed to pick up, seeing a familiar face. "So wait, did you get a strange crown in the mail too?"

"Yeah, I got it while playing Far Cry 5 on my PS4." Fox said, "I thought it was some high-grade cosplay prop or something..."

"I see...well, I had a bad feeling about it but, my curiosity got the better of me," Flash admitted. "There wasn't any return address on the box, either."

"Mine came with a note." Fox said, "Like, it bordered on being like a love letter the way it was written."

"A note? Do you still have it?" Flash then asked. "Because like, I wanna get to the bottom of who did this to us."

"Maybe..." Fox said, digging around in her hammerspace, then finding the note in question and showing it to Flash.

Flash read over the note, taking in the information. "Okay...that's a start, at least." He looked to Peach's Castle. "I guess the best thing we can do now, is get to civilization and hopefully, someone will take pity on our plight."

"Yeah, no fooling..." Fox mused, "Of course, I'll have to get used to walking in such high heels and a long skirt... Seriously, how does Peach walk in clothes like this?"

"I'm the lucky one here, dude. I've got a pair of boots, gloves I can punch with, and..." Flash reached into her dress for a moment, then pulled it out once he was done checking. "Okay, good. Sports bra."

Fox reached into her own dress a moment, then blushed.

"... Water bra for me..." she sighed.

"If we get into any combat, leave it to me, bud," Flash assured. "I'll protect you with the best 50 bucks I've ever spent on the Switch to get in shape."

"I'm sure I'm good at combat too..." Fox said, "I mean... I may look as dainty as a 1940's cartoon woman, but I'm sure I can hold my own in a fight."

"I mean, with guns I don't doubt that," Flash chuckled. "You and your characters always seemed to fancy firearms. I'm just a boxing and MMA junkie."

Well, I guess if I can get an AK-47 or an M60 or a Magnum I'd be fine here..." Fox sighed, leaning against a nearby pipe, "But hey, what're the odds of getting one of those around here?"

suddenly, a drop of slimy drool would drip onto Fox's shoulder.

"... Tell me that's just really slimy rain..." he said.

"No dude...you might wanna stand back, now," Flash warned, seeing what the slimy drool was connected to.

Fox blinked, then looked up, seeing a huge piranha plant poking it's head out of the pipe, licking its lips as drool dribbled down it's chin.

"... Oh..." she said.

the piranha plant then wrapped it's vines around Fox and grabbed her, lifting her up off the ground and coiling the rest of it's vines around her.

"Ngh…" she grunted, blushing a bit, "... This would be so much more arousing if I wasn't going to be eaten alive as a result of this..."

"H-Hey!" Flash exclaimed, hands instinctively balling up into fists. "You let go of Fox now!" Flash rushed over to come to the rescue, a fight already a part of her mental plan.

the piranha plant spat a few fireballs at flash.

"Oh, I guess it's going by the logic of the piranha plants from Mario 3." Fox said, blushing quite a bit now, "Oh my... So this is how Mowgli must've felt when he was being squeezed by Kaa in Jungle Book..."

The brunette between the two weaved around the fireballs, approaching the Piranha Plant and attempting a flying knee, aiming for the underside of its head.

this would knock the piranha plant's head forward, making it faceplant into the ground, as Fox emitted a girlish squeak of surprise.

With its head on the ground, Flash bombarded the head with hooks and overhand punches, looking to make it release Fox.

eventually, the piranha plant surrendered, letting Fox go and waving a cartoonish white flag about.

Flash let out a sigh, going to her friend. "Are you okay? Is anything hurting?"

"No, but I'm a bit hot and bothered from that, admittedly..." Fox admitted.

Flash let out a sigh of relief. "Phew..." She then chuckled. "But yeah, how was that display of hand to hand prowess? Did I do good?"

"You did pretty well." Fox said, "I might be halfway to that mean ol' plant's stomach by now if you hadn't."

"I told you man, I was gonna protect you," Flash beamed. "And like my dad, I'm a man...er...woman, of my word."

"Good to know." Fox said with a smile, standing, then brushing herself off, "Now then, let's hurry to the castle so we can get all this sorted, shall we?"

Flash nodded. "Right!" She agreed.

Fox smiled, then began sauntering down the path to Peach's castle, seeming to get the hang of her high heels and skirt on the way.

Flash followed close behind, careful not to go too fast.

before long, the two arrived at the front door to Peach's castle, though Fox felt as though something seemed off about it.

"Something amiss, buddy?" Flash asked. She steeled herself for anything bad that might happen, hands balled into fists again.

"I dunno…" Fox mused, "Something seems off... I can't put my finger on it..."

"Guess there's only one way to find out..." Flash took a deep breath, knocking on the front door.

no one would answer the door.

"... I think we're just expected to go in." Fox said, "I mean, that's how it worked in Mario 64."

"Okay. If you say so." Flash reached for the door, slowly opening it up to peek inside.

they'd see the wide-open entry hall of the castle, which was laid out like a typical castle, but with that extra mushroom kingdom flair.

"Alright, I think we're clear..." Flash was first to enter, keeping her guard up.

however, on the way to the throne room, the two would see a Koopa Troopa holding a spear and wearing a guard helmet.

'That's funny, I don't remember Koopas guarding this place.' Flash thought. "Oi. Did the princess have a change in employment?"

"Notta clue..." Fox replied, noticing there were more koopas, Goombas, and hammer bros guarding the castle than Toads.

"Let's just go to the throne room...they don't seem to pay us mind," Flash suggested.

Fox nodded, leading the way once more.

Once in the throne room, Flash took a look around, curious as to this change in management and employment.

the two princesss to be would see the one sitting in the throne...

… Was none other...

… Than Queen Bowsette.

"Hello, darlings~" Bowsette cooed, giving a seductive, but sinister smirk.

It would soon hit Flash like a truck filled with bricks as to what was going on here.

"Oh...why am I not surprised?" She deadpanned. "So, uh...Bowsette, I presume. You're the one who sent Fox here the note and crown, correct?"

"You are correct, my dear..." Bowsette cooed, standing up from her throne and approaching the two, "And you must be her plus one, no?"

"Yeah, and here's my question: Why me?" Flash then asked.

"Because..." Bowsette cooed, "I need two to go with my other two darling heroines."

"'Other two?' Does that mean...oh...oh right," Flash then realized what Bowsette meant. "So, lemme see if I get this straight. You sent two crowns to Fox and myself and brought us here somehow. All for what? SovietWomble-esque levels of bullshittery?"

"Well..." Bowsette admitted, "See, in addition to Peach and Daisy being my personal protectors, I want you two to aid them in protecting the crown."

"So that explains the change in employees..." Flash blinked, realization kicking in. "Then...what of...never mind. I just wanna figure out, what I'm supposed to do here first of all. Get accustomed to my new figure, and see what I'm working with here."

"Well..." Bowsette said, "to put it plainly, you, your friend, and Miss Peach and Miss Daisy, will all be basically like 'secret agents' if that means anything, working under me to protect my throne and keep the peace between the many worlds."

"So basically, Fox, myself, Peach, and Daisy are your Charlie's Angels?" Flash summarized.

"Pretty much." Bowsette mused.

"Cool." Fox said with a grin.

"Fine by me," Flash responded. 'I just hope my parents will be okay...' She added to herself.

"Good." Bowsette said with a smile, "Now go get suited up. Your new life awaits."

"Hopefully it's something more form fitting and casual than what I've got. Where's our rooms?" Flash then asked.

"Third floor, to the right of the stairs." Bowsette answered, "Your rooms are labeled with your names."

With a nod, Flash headed off in that direction.

Fox followed after her.

"She seems even nicer than I've seen her portrayed in fanart." she whispered to Flash.

"Well yeah, but..." Flash let out a sigh. "Still worried about my family..."

"I'm sure they'll be fine." Fox assured, "Hell, I'd venture to guess this place operates by Narnia time or something."

"...Now THAT is a name I haven't heard in a long time," Flash mused upon hearing Narnia. "Then again I don't remember anything of it. All I remember was the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe."

"Well, I guess another way to put it is the Time Chamber from Dragonball Z." Fox said, "One year here equals one day there."

"I hope so, dude," Flash responded, shaking her head and soon at the room with her name on it. "Well, here we are. Our new reality, I guess."

"Well, for now, at least." Fox said, looking at the door to her room, which was across from Flash's, "Welp, for the time being, we are spies serving the Koopa Crown."

she poised dramatically.

"As Her Royal Majesty's Secret Service..." she cooed.

"For the Koopa Kingdom, Fox?" Flash mused.

"Pretty much." Fox said with a smirk.

With a nod and sigh, Flash entered the room she was assigned. 'Please tell me whatever she wants us to wear has good armor qualities to it...' She thought to herself.

the room itself appeared to be decorated in a manner fit for nobility, and one corner had a massive ebony wood armoire that likely had most of her mission clothes in it.

Going for the armoire, Flash began looking around for what Bowsette was talking about.

the armoire held several outfits in particular.

one was what Flash could infer was her 'in castle' uniform, consisting of a pair of sky blue overalls and a navy blue long-sleeve t-shirt, a sky blue hat similar to Mario's with a letter 'F' on the front of it, a pair of white gloves, and a pair of brown high heeled boots.

another was likely her 'battle suit' consisting of a metallic blue armored bodysuit featuring lightweight high-impact ballistic armor plating,

and a third was a metallic blue skintight latex suit and matching high heeled boots and gloves that was likely her 'stealth outfit'.

Flash's eye twitched at the sight of the heels. "Really? Fuckin' heels? Screw that noise."

a knock came from outside Flash's door.

"You got heels in your wardrobe too?" Fox called from the other end.

"Yeah, and I'm like 'Screw that, I am not wearing heels.' Especially on a stealth mission - yeah, sneaking around in heels sounds good," Flash sarcastically added that last bit in.

"We're female spies..." Fox responded, "We're expected to wear skintight bodysuits and high heels. Haven't you seen cartoons like Totally Spies?"

"...Admittedly yes, but I'm all about fucking with expectations," Flash confided.

"True, but we are working for a woman who is likely the most popular meme to ever exist in our world." Fox replied, "I mean, haven't you seen most of the outfits she wears in most of the fanart she's portrayed in?"

"No. Not in the art I've seen," Flash added. "Look, just...I don't want to think about fighting in heels. Imagine how screwed I'd be if I twisted my ankle in the heat of battle. I'd be a sitting duck."

"Imagine kicking a guy in the neck with a pair of heels..." Fox pointed out, "Imagine jabbing the heel of your heel boots into a guy's crotch."

"You can do that all you want, Fox," Flash responded. "I'm not really feeling that kind of sadomasochism."

"I'm just saying heels can be a deadly weapon on the right feet." Fox said.

"I know, just...ugh..." Flash went to change into her in castle attire, forgoing the heels.

Fox, on the other hand, was fully changed into her own castle attire, consisting of a pair of bright orange overalls overtop a dark red long-sleeve turtleneck, a dark red hat similar to Mario's with an emblem of a fox on it, a pair of white gloves, and a pair of shiny black high heeled leather boots.

"So I guess we wait around till we got a job to do, yeah?" Flash asked, exiting her room.

"I s'ppose so." Fox said, "Why don't we go see if Peachy is doin' anything?"

"Lead the way, bud," Flash agreed. "I wanna hear from her how this all happened."

Fox smiled, beginning to lead the way.

"My personal guess..." she said as she led the way, "Is that this is some kinda Alternate Universe kinda deal."

"Only one way to find out," The brunette author agreed.

the blonde gamer grinned.

"And knowing Peachy like we do..." she said, as they neared the castle kitchen, "She's likely baking a cake. 'Cause like, what else besides Minigames parties, kart-racing, baseball, soccer, The Olympic games, getting kidnapped, and that one adventure she had, does she do in a game?"

Flash would be the first to step inside the castle's kitchen. "I sure as hell hope that's the case and this wasn't a violent overthrowing."

the two princesses-to-be would see Peach was indeed baking, just not a cake. She was actually baking a pizza pie.

she was also clad in an outfit similar to theirs, but in a pink and light pink color scheme.

Fox blinked at this.

"... Okay, so she's not baking a cake specifically, but hey, baking is still baking." she said.

"Now to get the full story..." Flash went to approach Peach. "Say, uh...random question..."

"I take it you two are the new agents here, correct?" Peach responded, sprinkling a bit of red pepper on the pizza before daintily placing it in the oven.

"Yeah, uh, here's the thing I wanna ask you," Flash answered. "How did all of this happen?"

Peach blinked blankly at the question.

"... All of what?" she asked.

"You know..." Fox said, gesturing all around her, "All of... This..."

"I don't quite follow." Peach answered.

"This is your castle," Flash explained. "Don't you remember all the times Bowser kidnapped you seemingly every Thursday?"

"... What are you talking about?" Peach asked, "This has always been Queen Bowsette's castle... At least, it has been since King Wart took over her castle, anyway. I allowed her to take leadership on the condition that I would be allowed to establish a task force to deal with invading forces, as well as to police and even thwart any evil plans from Wart or whoever else."

Flash looked a little horrified, turning to Fox. "...Dear god, you were right..."

"Told you." Fox whispered to Flash, "Alternate Universe."

"So, I didn't quite get your names..." Peach said.

"Oh, well..." Fox said, "I am princess Roxy of the Kitsu Kingdom... It's pretty small and far away, you wouldn'tve heard of it, and this is my retainer/lady in waiting, Lady Tiffany Mae."

"Wha- fuck you! That's not my name!" Flash exclaimed. "Sorry about that. My name's actually Cassie. I'm penpals with Roxy here in all honesty."

"Nice to meet you both." Peach said, "I am Princess Peach Toadstool, Co-Princess of the Mushroom-Koopa Alliance, and top agent of the Royal Action Force."

"Pleasure's all mine, Peach," Flash mused. "Looking forward to working together."

Peach smiled.

"I'm certain the three of us will make an excellent team." she said.

"We heard about a Daisy, where's she at?" Flash then asked.

"She is currently out on assignment with Rosalina." Peach answered, "It's a long-term assignment, so they will be out for a while."

'She's got Rosie too...' Flash thought. "I'll be sure to properly introduce myself when they get back."

"That would be best, yes." Peach agreed, smiling, then added, "I have a feeling you two would get along with them, Daisy especially. she's quite the energetic one."

"I'm sure she is," Flash hummed, taking a breath. "Well, I'll leave you to finish what you're up to."

Peach nodded, as Fox began to lead Flash away.

"Well..." Fox said once they were out of earshot, "I'm surprised no one answered the phone..."

She held up her finger, saying, "... Wait for it..."

then finally said, "... Because I called it!"

Flash frowned at Fox. "If I wasn't currently preoccupied with trying to get used to this place, I'd deck you for that."

"Well, at least we don't have to go up the Neverending staircase here." Fox pointed out, "seriously, that thing gave me a hell of a hard time when I was a kid."

"Yah, let's count our blessings on that..." Flash then whispered this to Fox. "But mark my words, if Bowsette here is less benevolent as she presents herself, I will do something about it."

Fox nodded in agreement, then smiled and put her arm around Flash.

"Flashy, my friend..." she said, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful life."

"For our sake, Roxy, I hope you're right," Flash deadpanned, but smirked afterwards.

"Trust me, Cassie." Fox said with a smirk, "We'll be the best damn secret agents in the entire world or die trying."

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_Finally, after months of putting it off, I finally got this out._

_I kept teasing the fuck out of this fic, and now I've finally put it out._

_Anyways, that's it for this opening chapter. Don't take it too seriously._

_*It's Filthy Fox, muthafuckas*_

_*It's Filthy Fox, bitch*_

_*Let's get some pussy toniiiiight*_


End file.
